“No matter how successful we women are, we are conditioned not to threaten the men.”- Vidya Balan at We The Women by Barkha Dutt

Share this on

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

Vidya Balan, the pioneering actor known for redefining terms for women in the film industry, says, “No matter how successful we women are, we are bad at receiving success. It’s as if we still do not want to threaten the men.“

Balan was speaking at We The Women, the flagship festival curated by award-winning journalist Barkha Dutt, the sixth edition of which was held in Jaipur and live-streamed on digital platform Mojo Story. Known for her impact-making films like ‘Kahaani,’ ‘Shakuntala Devi,’ ‘Tumhari Sulu,’ ‘Sherni,’ and ‘Jalsa,’ Balan, began by presenting the annual H.E.R Award, to Army officers Lt Col. Anila Khatri and Major Abhilasha Barak. Later Vidya Balan was also honored as a Woman of Impact with the same award.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSMRHjQF1kQ))

Vidya Balan spoke of how growing up in a home with every possible freedom and where the emphasis
was on education; it was only after becoming an actor that she started feeling the impact of stereotypes
and sexism “There was always a pressure of being a certain kind of heroine, which I’m not. I don’t know
who I am and I’m still discovering. But I knew that I didn’t fit the mould. People around me were
constantly trying to mould me in a certain way. At various levels, it was frustrating to try and fit in.”
Opening up about how social conditioning impacts women in conscious and subconscious ways, Balan
told Barkha Dutt “We’re fighting with the demons in our own minds ….. I would be okay doing my close-
ups shots last, while the other actor leaves early. I would be okay if my van was parked away and the
other actor’s not. I had no issues with this because I was committed to my work. If the work demands
me to be present there at whatever time, I would be there. But it is not okay, how women need to please
to fit in. I needed to overcompensate to be successful. When we downplay ourselves, no matter how
successful we are, we don’t want to threaten the men. You don’t want to threaten the status quo. We’ve
grown up learning this.”


Talking about her debut film Parineeta, Vidya Balan said, someone told her, “’ Oh what a great break in
Parineeta, but you came in as a woman, now people need to see you as a girl.’ I was a woman, I was 26
then.” Sharing how she deals with misogynistic questions and stereotyping even today, she says, “For
the longest time, they have posted my pictures stating -’Oh, she’s pregnant.’ Even today, when I promote
my films, they ask if Siddharth has a say in what I do. I tell them, ‘I don’t have a say in what Siddharth
chooses, so why should he have a say in what I choose.”
Vidya Bala has been a passionate advocate for body positivity and self-love and says she had to go
through her own difficult journey before she got to this point of equanimity. “The struggles with my
body deserve a book honestly. I think it’s been lifelong and I made peace with it. I think it would
devastate, destroy and shatter me every time someone said something unflattering. I was angry with my
body for most of my life. It’s only in the past 5-6 years that I have begun to say this is what is keeping me
alive. All it deserves is gratitude.”
The actor said she was asked to lose weight before every film till she decided she’d had enough and
actually turned down a project if that was the ask. “I felt so free after that,” she said.
Talking about her seminal film ‘Dirty Picture’ Balan told Dutt it was the movie that taught her self-love. “I
was someone who never wore sleeveless. I was always shy and wanted to be hidden. Here, I was made

to wear clothes my size. I got to flaunt my curves, my love handles and everything. It went on to become
a huge success and I felt my sexiest best at my biggest… Biggest until then! ” she said laughing out loud
Asked what she would tell her 18-year-old self, Vidya Balan said, “There’s only one you and no one is
perfect”.
Vidya Balan was one among a galaxy of top achievers at the We The Women Festival. Other speakers
included Janhvi Kapoor, Aditya Roy Kapur, Ghazal Alagh, Vani Kola, officers of the Indian Army, Shweta
Bacchan and Navya Nanda and several grassroots activists.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on whatsapp
Share on email

Tags

Related articles

As the Director and Co-Founder of The Lexicon Group and Co-Founder CITTA, Monisha Sharma has spent over two decades shaping a powerful ecosystem spanning education, media, wellness, entrepreneurship, and conscious beauty. A visionary entrepreneur and dynamic leader, she has played a defining role in transforming The Lexicon Group into one of India’s most respected and diverse institutions. Yet beyond the boardrooms, leadership roles, and entrepreneurial milestones lies the role that has transformed her most deeply — motherhood.
Graceful yet fiercely resilient, Anika Parashar is a woman who has spent her life building spaces where women feel seen, heard, and cared for — not just medically, but emotionally and holistically. As the Founder and CEO of The Woman's Company and Founder Director at Organ India, Anika stands at the intersection of compassion, leadership, and meaningful impact, championing conversations around women’s health, wellness, and dignity with rare authenticity.
Elegant, intuitive, and fiercely driven, Nikita Bachani is a storyteller at heart — a woman who understands that behind every successful brand lies a powerful story waiting to be told. As the founder of Alkymi Media, Nikita has built a reputation for transforming ideas into meaningful identities, helping brands carve lasting emotional connections through authenticity, strategy, and vision. Yet beyond the accomplished entrepreneur and communications strategist lies the role that transformed her most profoundly: motherhood. For Nikita, becoming a mother did not diminish ambition — it deepened perspective.
Elegant, grounded, and quietly powerful, Siddhina Sakla is a woman who beautifully balances creativity, leadership, and motherhood with remarkable grace. An accomplished architect with over 13 years of industry experience, Siddhina has built a distinguished career shaped by academic excellence, global exposure, and an unwavering passion for thoughtful design. Yet beyond the architect and entrepreneur lies the role that transformed her most profoundly — motherhood.
Powerful yet deeply compassionate, Deepti Sharma is a woman who embodies strength far beyond the physical. As a respected fitness expert and Director at Multfit, Deepti has inspired countless individuals to prioritize health, discipline, and wellbeing. But behind the achiever, leader, and wellness advocate lies the role that transformed her most profoundly — motherhood.
As the founder of Tikitoro, India’s first personal care brand thoughtfully designed for children and teenagers aged 4–16, Prasanna transformed a mother’s concern into a meaningful mission. Driven by the belief that “kids are not mini adults,” she built Tikitoro with a deep commitment to safety, honesty, and awareness — creating age-appropriate, endocrine-disruptor-free products that prioritize the wellbeing of young skin and hair while educating parents along the way.